For me one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the sleep deprivation. Before my first little baby was born I used to love my sleep. I would go to bed at 10 o’clock and awake refreshed whenever my alarm went off. On weekends, hubby and I would sleep peacefully until noon and perhaps take a leisurely nap on Sunday afternoon.
When my firstborn came along, I didn’t know what to expect. I dutifully awoke with her all through the night whenever she wanted to nurse and we would sit on the couch, breastfeeding and watching reruns of The Hills, until she fell back to sleep.
Then, suddenly, when she was about three months old she started sleeping through the night. The first few mornings I woke up feeling uncomfortably full, but after a few days of doing nothing more than nursing her whenever she wanted during the day, my supply changed and I once again started sleeping blissfully all night long.
And that’s how it was for the first couple years of her life- she’d sleep all night, every night (except during the occasional growth spurt or teething stage). I honestly felt like I had it all figured out. I felt bad for all those tired, sleep-deprived moms out there who couldn’t get their babies to sleep all night.
Baby number 1 was a great sleeper right from the start!
The truth was I didn’t have anything figured out. I was just lucky.
I realized this when baby number two came along. It was torture. For about a year, my nights would go like this: I would put baby down to sleep at 8, she would wake to nurse at 10, I would go to bed at 10:30, she would wake again at 12, I’d walk to her room, nurse her, then head back to my bed, she would wake again at 1 or 2, I’d go to her room and take her to the spare room bed and nurse the rest of the night, my oldest daughter would wake at 4 and come in with us to cuddle(she went through a tough period of adjustment when her little sis was born), the dogs would wake us up at 5 and I’d get up to let them out,
baby would wake to nurse again at 6 and then hubby would wake me up at 7 to get a shower before he left.
Those months are a blur to me now. I was in a constant daze. Nothing made sense, everything was a big deal, and I was
sometimes afraid to drive. I cried for no reason at all. I just barely survived.
We (thankfully) are passed those days now.
Baby number two still wakes at least once a night, but since she is in a big girl bed, I just go to her room and we cuddle up and nurse the rest of the night. My oldest is still a great sleeper for some unknown reason. For two days over Christmas we all slept all night long and I got to remember that awesome refreshed feeling you get from sleeping all night.
As a formerly sleep deprived breastfeeding mom, I would like to pass on along this advice:
Hope this helps! Do you have any other suggestions or coping strategies?
Felicie is a teacher turned work at home mama to two busy little angels, aged 22 months and 4 and a half years. She is a proud member of La Leche League Canada and has helped to organize three World B[..]
I would like to thank you for your article. My 2 year old son has only slept through the night 3 times since he’s been born. I think it’s 3, could be 1 or 2 more, but I’m in such a fog most of the time it’s hard to remember anything. Some people tell me to take his afternoon nap away, but the few times he hasn’t napped he’s been so restless at night that he wakes up more than usual. Most nights he’ll sleep from 8ish to 12 or 1 (sometimes 2, but rarely), and then he’s up every hour or 2. I’m still nursing at bedtime and throughout the night and I get a lot of flack for that. He is comforted by that and I will do what I can to comfort him as he is growing fast and soon that will be a thing of the past and I will miss it dearly. I do hope for some sleep soon all the same though.
All the best to you and thanks again!
With three kids ages 8, 3, and 1 1/2 (plus another one on the way), I can say with confidence that I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since some time in 2003. My eldest didn’t sleep through the night until she was 4 1/2. She sleeps great now, but if she had her way she would still be up until 11:00 and sleeping until noon. My middle guy was a bad sleeper, or so we thought, until the third came along, redefining “bad sleeper” as “baby who, despite ever effort and intervention on the part of his parents, sleeps in 40-minute cycles, punctuated by screams.” He’s a charmer in the day time, though!
A sense of humour, a supportive partner, strong tea, and the ability to nap sitting up in a room full of children have kept me sane.
@Mandy- So glad you wrote! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one in the world with a two year old who won’t sleep the night without nursing. I don’t know how many people have told me that if I wean she’ll start sleeping through the night- as if breastfed babies are the only babies and toddlers who awake at night! I can’t be bothered doing that because I’m afraid then I’ll be stuck with a two year old who still wakes us and no quick and easy way to get her back to sleep! I’d rather lie down and nurse anyday rather than pace the halls trying to get a kid back to sleep! Hang in there and hopefully you’ll get a full night of rest someday soon!
@Andreae-Thank you for your comments! Those 40 minute sleep cycles must have been horrible! And yes- strong tea is important! I haven’t perfected the napping thing, but I’ll have to work on that if there are more kids in my future. I have my fingers crossed for you that number four will be a fabulous sleeper- you deserve it!