A wise mommy friend of mine recently wrote about how difficult motherhood can be. We don’t do ourselves any good by pretending that it’s easy or wonderful all of the time.
It’s the same for breastfeeding. It might be natural to breastfeed, but it’s certainly not easy. Talk to any mom who has breastfed and they’ll tell you about their own experience with thrush, mastitis, nipple pain, bite marks, nursing strikes, low milk supply, too much milk, leaking boobs, engorgement, and criticism. Less talked about, but still hard, is the mental side of breastfeeding: the countless hours you spend, just you and baby, nursing. I’ve never done one single activity with such dedication before in my life. I may never again. Sometimes it’s awesome to just sit there and feel totally absorbed by the act of nursing, but sometimes it’s torture (especially when that to-do list is so long).
Parenting books and classes can give you the information you need to decide to breastfeed or not, but they cannot prepare you for the real thing. When I started nursing my firstborn I had no one except my mother to tell me if what I was feeling was normal or not. I remember calling her at the end of a long day of near constant nursing when baby was having a six week growth spurt. She told me it was okay to cry because what I was doing was very difficult. I cried and cried and ended up feeling a whole lot better. Nothing had prepared me for the enormous sense of responsibility of being the only one who could feed my baby or put her to bed. This is the reality of breastfeeding that you don’t read about or learn in parent education classes.
Sometime I still find breastfeeding overwhelming… I hate how I am the only one who can put the baby to sleep. I hate that if I take my morning tea to the couch to relax, my baby will think it’s an invitation to nurse. I miss all those cute, colourful bras I used to wear before my nursing days. I miss the perky boobs I used to own. I’d love to go away for a romantic weekend with my hubby, but I can’t figure out how to do it with a baby who refuses to take a bottle. Not to mention that no babysitter is going to want to deal with her anger when she awakes to nurse in the middle of the night. Sometimes breastfeeding makes me feel so stuck.
Sometimes motherhood is difficult. Sometimes breastfeeding is hard. Let’s stop pretending otherwise and start supporting each other instead. Keep on nursing!;)
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Felicie is a teacher turned work at home mama to two busy little angels, aged 22 months and 4 and a half years. She is a proud member of La Leche League Canada and has helped to organize three World B[..]
Sorry… my hyperlinks did not come up in this post… we’re going to try to fix this, until then here they are:
My wise mommy friend is Stephanie Trevarrow and her article can be found at: http://theindependent.ca/2011/03/24/pressure-drop/
The last line- keep on nursing- is a supposed to be a link to an inspirational breastfeeding song (Thank you Inbal!). Here’s the link:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/mp3/LLL_podcast_031-TurnMeAround-breastfeeding.mp3
Enjoy!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so honest. Someone recently told me that I need to stop breastfeeding my 13 month old because I am clearly only doing it for my benefit, and not for him. Hah. As if. Yes, there are many things that I love about breastfeeding, but there are times I want my body back. There are times I feel so touched out I could scream. There are times I wish my husband could nurse him. And there are times that I want to drink an entire bottle of wine, and I can’t, because he won’t take a bottle or get any comfort from a sippy cup of expressed breast milk.
Just joking about the entire bottle of wine. Sort of.
If it’s any consolation, though, research suggests that breastfeeding has nothing to do with your breasts sagging (http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/04/04/sagging-breasts-whats-to-blame/). You have other factors to thank for that
All jokes aside, this is one “breastfeeding myth” that we do need to work on dispelling, because it is an unfortunate belief that affects many moms/moms-to-be/potential future moms who are trying to decide whether or not they will breastfeed their children.
Hey Lisa! Thanks for the link! What a great article! You’re right, this is defintely a myth that should be dispelled. I didn’t realize there had been research done in this area. All the same… what a bad reason to not breastfeed. I’m sure most people would put their baby’s health before their own vanity.
Oh and if I had a dime for every time someone has told me that I’m breastfeeding for my own benefit… I’d be rich. I’m sure you’ll agree that we might get the breastfeeding blues sometimes, but there’s no doubt that breastfeeding is worth it.It’s just like lots of things in life- it’s hard sometimes, but the good outweighs the bad for sure.
Felicie,
Sadly among young and, especially young and single, moms the myth that breastfeeding causes breasts to sag is a major breastfeeding preventative. I’ve met plenty of young women who’ve said they wouldn’t even think of breastfeeding because they’re too young to have saggy breasts or because they’re too worried about finding a future partner to have saggy breasts.
ovely post Felicie. And all too true. It is not an easy job and we need to admit that to each other more often.